“But you don’t know the things I’ve done…”
After the last post on not being worthy of help, another issue was brought to my attention.
This one is even more pervasive and evil than the last set of reasons.
And it’s the idea that because of the things you’ve done in the past, you’re not even worth helping.
That you’ve done things that are so unforgivable, that you may as well just give up now.
Things that, if you told someone, they would look at you in horror, run away screaming, and never speak to you again.
Or at least never look at you the same again.
This is a common reason that a lot of men feel like they can’t go back to church.
God knows what they did…
And forever condemns them for it.
It’s common to hear half-jokes like, “If I ever set foot in a church, lightning would strike me dead.”
Obviously, part of this is a lame attempt at humor to avoid having to go to church…
But the other part of it is an honest feeling that they’re unforgivable.
Have YOU ever felt this way?
The saddest part about this situation is how profoundly FALSE it is, yet it holds so many men (and women) back from getting the help they need.
Help from other people, and help from the church.
As someone who works in the church, it pains me deeply to hear about people who stay away because of their sins.
This does not give anyone permission to continue living in a way they know to be wrong, but if those things are part of your past, there’s good news…
(Especially relevant as we approach Easter!)
One of my favorite passages is Mark 2:17, where the Pharisees asked the disciples why Jesus ate with sinners and tax collectors:
“And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, ‘Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous but the sinners.”
Another beautiful example is in the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector that shows up in Luke 18:9-14 (go read that one… I’ll wait.)
The point is, when you know you’ve done wrong and are humble about it, you’re on a much better path than someone who feels like they’re doing “good enough”.
Feeling unworthy of help is taking that humility a few steps too far.
Nothing you’ve done makes you unworthy of being helped, especially if that’s part of the “old you.”
Here’s a little more Scripture to drive this point home:
“He will again have compassion on us; he will tread our iniquities underfoot. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea” (Micah 7:19, ESV).
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9, ESV).
Also, read Colossians 2:13-14.
What you’ve done doesn’t have to define you.
Jesus took care of that.
That you are the product of your past is a lie planted in your mind to keep you from ever moving forward with your life.
All that said, there are still things that you may not (yet) be comfortable discussing with people you have to see on a regular basis.
This could include your wife, your friends, your pastor, or others.
But you still need to clear this stuff up and get it out of your life so you can keep growing.
If you need that help, reach out, and we can set up a call to help you work through these things in your past that are keeping you from being the husband and father you want to be.
No one can do this FOR you, but you aren’t alone.
You are worthy of help, and you don’t have to figure it out on your own.